one can only reflect for so long...

before a decision needs to be made. otherwise you are just navel-gazing and i haven't seen my navel since sometime after child 3 slithered out of my nether-regions...

"Goodbye, said the fox. And now here is my secret, a very simple secret. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."
— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (The Little Prince)

it comes down to what is essential in life. those who believe the "you can have it all/be it all/do it all,at the same time" myth are destined to be disappointed. because what is essential are those things that don't win fame, awards or recognition- personal relationships, caring for others, self-respect.

what is essential for me right now is to keep continuity in my family life, allow my kids to continue to grow and blossom, continue to do excellent work and have an impact at my current school site. my kids are (mostly) teens and need the safety and security of knowing that I am available and attentive. when they move on, i can too.

so, even though this is something they will NEVER appreciate, it is essential- for them and for myself...to really be there- in this moment right with them.

beyond family needs, there is so much turmoil in the world and here at home, that it is essential to nurture one's support systems. i am a very lucky gal, because i have an incredible support system available to me right where i work. there are a team of women there who are smart, driven and without ego. they feed my soul and push me to be my best self. i have no desire at this time to give that up...

why the short runs matter

so many times in my life, I clearly see the correlation to running and the larger concept of a life well-lived: running is, at turns, glorious, awful, rewarding and punishing- just like "real" life...

lately, I have been focusing on shorter runs, as part of my preparation to run the La Jolla Half-marathon, which has a couple of truly daunting hills at some nasty mileage points (mile 6-7 and mile 12).

so, while there is absolutely no denying that the "long run puts the tiger in the cat", many lessons can be learned from shorter runs:
-i'm focusing on breathing: making sure that before the distance gets too great, I am concentrating on proper technique and staying in control. (in life, there is much to be said for focus, control and practice)
-i am trying to monitor my form: arms right, upper body just slightly forward, head slightly forward and shoulders down. (in life, tension and stress can bedevil you before you even realize it. you have to practice keeping ahead of it)
-in longer races, i fall apart. totally, not kidding! just like in the later stages of labor, I just lose my mind. [sorry, but there is something about having someone's head out of you, and someone's shoulders in you, that makes me lose my composure] during the shorter runs i am practicing keeping my head together, starting strong and finishing strong. i will take these same habits and apply them to longer runs. (in life, the little steps and mis-steps along the way add up to create character)

so, whatever the challenges you face on your "little runs"- i wish you peace!

almost to two and a half

when c. woke up yesterday, she told me she was feeling difficult. she was not kidding- it was a tough day! but, then again, it is hard to be two. what can i say, i love every minute of it...

c. continues to read voraciously and has several favorites, chief among them is "Click, Clack, Moo, Cows that Type".(gotta love a book that deals with labor relations and uses the phrases "neutral party" & "ultimatum") She loves Thomas the Tank Engine and can tell you about all the cars who live on our own private Island of Mookdor. Playing outside, in the sink, with Play-doh, or in her little ktchen keeps us really busy. she is able to sing many songs and identify letters. she also asks us to write her name and dictates the letters to us. mostly, though, she is just a joyous, loving and funny little girl.

one week in

this photo from Tuesday night says so much about the obamas: it says they are straight with each other, they know what they stand for, he respects her, he values her as an equal, it does not diminish either of them to show care, concern & compassion for the other.

i am extremely comfortable with the country in his hands. he may do things i and others disagree with, but he will make choices that come from a position of respect and dignity.

all the limbaughs and hannitys in the world will never know the wisdom he possesses because they operate from fear and a longing to be accepted. obama has said, "here I am. what can I do? okay!"
thank goodness for real patriots who stand up when called upon...

amen.

things to look forward to, and one more book read

tonight i am leaving the kids and the mr. at home. i am heading to visit with some friends from HS. i am more excited about this than my reunion, as I imagine it will be more quiet and we'll be able to visit a little easier. will post pics tomorrow!

also, read and LOVED American Wife. I must say that it was difficult not to pic GW and Laura (upon whom it is based), but Sittenfeld's narrative was engaging and kept me reading. Would love to know how close she is to understanding the real Laura Bush's mind. I suspect that Mrs. Bush is not that deep, nor engaged, but I could be wrong. Un fortunately, that is something we will probably never know. As far as novels go, this was a first-rate story and the best of the three works by this author!

books to get me through january, perhaps beyond

so excited! i have so many books awaiting me :) the pic is just some of the many titles that i have read during break, or I am getting ready to read. here they are, in case you want to dive in and read them, too. I'll blog further about notable ones, when I finish....

- go ask alice: not only content that will make your hair curl, but writing so poor, it is laughable. read in advance of 13 YO K. to see if humanities teacher made a good rec. for her. uh, nope!
-Wishful Drinking: Carrie Fisher. This one gets mixed reviews because it is really a series of anecdotes, but I loved it. I found it brave, honest and intriguing.
-The Other: Guterson. From the author of Snow Falling on Cedars. A bit slow, but beautifully written reflections on friendship and love. Found many lines to add to my quote book.
-American Wife: Sittenfeld. Did not enjoy her first two books, but I am giving her another chance!
-A Short History of Nearly Everything: under the christmas tree to help me expand my mind. i will get to it, i swear!
-Dear American Airlines: J. miles. Currently reading this. i am enjoying the unfolding story and am suffering right along with his frustration.
-Loving Frank: Horan. Missed this when it was hardback (or waited?).
-Skeletons At the Feast: Bohjalian. One of my favorite authors. The book I am most looking forward to.
-America, America: Canin. Picked this at rec'd from Barnes and Noble.
-Mrs. Astor Regrets: under the tree to feed my desire to swap between "good" literature and gossipy literature!
-Twilight: picked it up for $4. Daughter has read them all, so i must give in and see what the fuss is.

So, there you have it! of course, this will need to be supplemented by weekly trips to the library!

sticky rolls

one package "grands" refrigerator biscuits
one stick of butter/marg.
one cup of brown sugar (i pack it)
1/4 cup of milk
cinamon

cut packaged biscuts into sixths and place in baking dish (i use 9x9)
sprinkle with cinammon

in a sauce pan: melt butter and brown sugar. stir until blended and bubbly. remove from heat and stir on 1/4c. milk

pour over cut up biscuits. put in oven @ 350 for 20 minutes. check to make sure middle is cooked through.

CAREFULLY invert onto platter

PS: i'd post a pic, but they get eaten too fast....