ode to my running buddy*

...except it won't be a poem...i'm not that creative...

it has been 3 years since, in a fit of frustration at being heavy from having the baby & never having successfully run more than a block, i said i wanted to run a half-marathon.

exactly one person in the universe thought i meant it: kath.

in the time that has passed since, her faith in me has sustained me over thousands (literally) of miles, aches and pains, hitting the wall, and anytime that i lost faith in myself.

for real, she looked at me huffing & puffing away and told me i was awesome, that i could do whatever i wanted as long as just kept getting out there. on race days, she leaves me gu and gatorade, she made her hubby drive 30 mi to find body glide for me.during races, she helps keep my head in the game. when we don't run together, we text each other words of support.

most importantly, she saw in me what i certainly did not see in myself. words can really never repay my gratitude at her willingness to step up.

along the way something wonderful happened: no, it isn't all the weight i lost (i didn't) or the medals i've won (haven't- only finisher medals). it is something worth so much more and yet, invaluable at the same time: we became really good friends. we opened our hearts to each other, have seen each other at our best and worst, and talked through every single problem imaginable and laughed and laughed and laughed.

she is a gift.
- peace
*running buddy: actual person who runs with you, not the euphemism for, well, never mind...

erma

"It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else."

i am not exactly sure why, but this time of year, i find myself thinking of and remembering erma bombeck. for me she is in a pantheon of women that i hold in very high esteem. this might seem odd, as i was never really part of her demographic, but her voice speaks to me, she moves me, she soothes my soul, and most importantly, she makes me laugh out loud.

i think i like her because she was honest about her short comings and wise enough to poke fun at herself before any one else could. she understood the value of getting the right line out there and making people laugh- she understood that it makes one powerful.

i admire her because she had her priorities straight and kept those priorities in order for her whole life. in other words, she did not bullshit. she made her choices, she owned her choices, and when it became crucial- she stood tall for the rights of other women to make their choices.

erma knew that women were made strong because they held the power that could change the world- they raised the next generations. she was wise enough to know that your husband could be a true partner and that raising boys into men counted as much toward equaling the playing field as raising girls to women.

i love her for honoring her marriage, putting her kids first, starting her career at nearly 40, for letting me know that coming up short is just the way it goes sometimes.

do you really know her story? do you know that she joined forces with other women and went on the road to try to get the ERA passed? do you know that she was an amazing daughter right to the end of her life? do you know that when she desperately needed a kidney, and could have used fame or money to secure one, she didn't?

as thanksgiving approaches, one the many things i will be thankful for is women like her who illuminate a path for those of us coming after.

"When I stand before God at the end of my life,I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and I could say,'I used everything you gave me.'"

favorite quote

in an effort to post more, and connect more often, just thought i would post one of my favorite quotes...

operation self-esteem; day fucking one
- elizabeth gilbert eat, pray, love

that puts the biggest damn smile on my face...
-peace

this health care thing is making me nuts

our President came to the people and spoke the truth. the right's response? call him a liar. brilliant. why don't they just put their fingers in their ears and stamp their feet?

the fact that there are people elected to represent americans that are against providing those very people who elected them the same health coverage they enjoy is disgusting.

here is what i believe and, more importantly, what i am willing to pay for: health care for every american citizen.

enough said. peace.

Why I am Troubled by Patrick J. Buchanan

...and you should be, too.

An open letter to Patrick J. Buchanan

Dear Mr. Buchanan:

I'm writing you this letter, which I will forward to MSNBC, because I find your presence on television to be so disturbing that I can no longer be silent. After watching you for too many years to count, whether it was on CNN, McLaughlin Group or currently on MSNBC, I have become increasingly concerned about the hatred you carry for others and freely put on display, as though other people's lives are some sort of esoteric game and the kind of rhetoric you both write and verbalize has no effect.

You, sir, are a Catholic and yet, seem to violate our most basic tenets for sport. The whole "Do onto others as you would have done onto you" concept seems completely lost on you. You, sir, are Jesuit trained. You have been taught to think, to question, to articulate, but also to consider the least of your brothers, to be concerned about social justice and to accept all people as God's own children.

In spite of the exceptional training you received, you seem to have spent your life turning your back on it. I have no quarrel with genuine conservatism, but hatred of others disguised as conservatism is morally bankrupt. Your recent attacks on the ability of Judge Sonia Sotomayor are not based in reason or fact, but are the straw-man you use to decry your perception that white men have somehow gotten the short end of the stick in this country. I am white and I am raising two white men. They see the world as a place where everyone belongs and hard work will be rewarded. They do not think they are somehow cheated from success by the success of others. They learned that from their folks and from our Church.

To decry others as out to get you, to dig up dirt on opponents, to scream or write invective filled arguments designed to malign, to incite others to follow your lead and hate people who do not share your story is to deny that God does, in fact, live in them as well as you.

You have helped to divide us as country for the past 40+ years by demonizing others. I do not decry your right to free speech, but I do lament that you have dedicated so much of your life to squandering the precious gift of that right that was paid for with the blood of others.

A Public Option

well, while i would prefer a "single-payer" health plan for this country, that option is off the table. so, a public option is the next best choice, in my opinion. therefore, i took some time today to write my congress people the following

Dear _______:

I would like a public option even though I have private health insurance.

Insurance companies practice something called “rescission” and have refused to change their policy. This does no one any good.

We need health care for all who inhabit our communities in order to keep our communities safe. Like fire departments & police services, health care for all is necessary to protect everyone in society.

Health care in our country is broken.

We need change. We need a public option.

Thank you for your time,

That's all, just simple and to the point. Please, if you support the public option for health care, feel free to cut and paste this note into an email!

special thank you to @dondrennon & @aliceinthewater(twitter pals) for the text & inspiration!

suffering is optional, ctd... and updated!

well, it has been awhile, no? i have been walking around with this particular post forming in my little brain for a bit, but i have needed some time to come to grips with our little lives...

suffering is optional...remember that the first half of that mantra is "pain is inevitable, but..." so, when applied to running, that mantra helped me prevail with a personal record in the hardest half-marathon i have run to date. there were some serious elevation issues that had to be contended with and by mile 11 i was fully ready to just give up. deciding that, though i was in pain, i wasn't gonna suffer helped me prevail and finish in my fastest time, yet.

now, apply this to my life, and i am working toward a good mental place. the mr. has been laid-off and there is no indication that he will be given back his teaching position for the coming school year. i have loved knowing him as a colleague at the same school; he has contributed so much to our school community and the idea of him not being there next year (in addition to the economic reality) is staggering. it absolutely brings me low. but, i've gotta set aside the suffering part and remain shoulder to shoulder with the mr. also, gotta' keep my sense of humor!

in an effort to keep my sense of humor and not lose my ever lovin' mind, i had to make a decision about my own teaching life so that i had some sort of say over my assignment next year. this meant making a hasty decision to teach a new grade in an effort to be spared teaching kinder. look, i'm sure it is lovely, but it just isn't me...i enjoy my preschooler, but i am quite confident, i wouldn't enjoy yours.

this brings me back to pain and suffering. this time, i can't separate the two. i was forced to leave a grade level i am good at teaching and a team of women i really care for. so, for the next few days, i will run and pray and reflect and make some peace with the place in which i find myself...

update: if you just keep moving and walking through things, it gets better. i am already able to see the positives of my new work situation and i am getting ready to start planning a new school year. the mr., himself, has some great ideas- could be exciting!

suffering is optional

"pain is inevitable, suffering is optional" so begins the book what I talk about, when I talk about running, a beautiful and insightful meditation on why some people run, and why it is the wrong fit for others.

"suffering is optional" has become my new running mantra, as my distance has increased and I have encountered some bumps in the road. this idea has really changed my mindset and reinforced the idea that I choose to run, no one is forcing me.

again, although running is integrated in my daily life, the parallels between living and running emerge. choices, always choices- even when you think there might not be one, there is. suffering is a choice, too. how you cope with things that happen and the choices you make influence your outlook. accepting that pain is part of the big picture, but that suffering is optional can alter your point of view and help you move on or look beyond, when necessary.